The Bookseller.com

8th October 2008

Daisy Frost

Daisy Frost is an agent at the Edward Cecil Literary Agency. She blogs at missdaisyfrost.com.

Job roles, Joel rolls

16.07.08

After the Amanda Ross/Bookseller party incident a number of so-called friends—whose motives I question—have been urging me to leave the choppy seas of agenting and sail the good ship Frost to the calmer waters of journalism or, strangely, publishing. So what with Joel leaving The Organ and the top job at Picador still up for grabs I applied for both.

For reasons involving me, Tony Forbes Watson and a skinny mochaccino, the only outcome of the interview at Picador was a damages bill for £2,250. When he asked: “What qualities are essential to the job?”

I thought my answer was spot on: “Overpaying, on a whim, for authors that tick all the right boxes, regardless of their literary merit, and then, a year later, an ability to run very fast in the other direction while blaming the author, publicity and marketing for poor sales”.

But this seemed to make him as angry as Heather Mills at a court hearing. So when he reached for a jug of water I went into self-defence mode, and that was how my arcing spume of Starbucks’ finest wreaked untold havoc on a leather-bound set of the Grove Dictionary Of Art.

The chat at The Bookseller went a little better, although Neill Denny seemed  annoyed by my inability to explain to his exacting satisfaction precisely how I would go about writing an in-depth research-laden industry piece.

When I glibly said that I would probably just ring two of the usual rent-a-quotes and then make the rest of it up, “just like Joel did”, he seemed to go a bit mental and before I knew it I was back on Shaftesbury Avenue wondering whether there was potential for a quirky Christmas hit on “Humiliating Job Interviews”—possibly with an intro by Nick and Margaret from “The Apprentice”? Then I remembered that O’Mara has probably published 14 books on the subject, so I let it drop and sought refuge in what promised to be a red-hot publishing night out. Not.

I cadged a lift in David Godwin’s rickshaw to The Society Of Authors Awards ceremony. It was like Five Go To Malory Towers—an oak-panelled room, books on an ornate mantlepiece like the lower-sixth lacrosse trophies, wine on silver trays and the Headmaster, Mark Le Fanu, being professionally charming while making sure the pupils weren’t up to no good.

Antonia Fraser played the part of the Queen Mum to perfection, Tracy Chevalier was a very scary Head Girl and “Uncle” Terry Pratchett looked like a benevolent but mischievious alumni handing out gongs. Maybe I have been hit repeatedly with the stupid stick but what in the name of Kerry Katona is the point of giving out 30 prizes on one night? None of them get any publicity (or increased sales) and, to be honest, us agents who do all the bloody work (apart from the writing bit, obviously) don’t even get a slice of the cash.

I left with Joel for a farewell drink and concluded he really does look astonishingly like Gok Wan, although in the lookalike stakes Penfold and Malcolm Edwards  come a close second! Visit the gallery at missdaisyfrost.com, and send industry lookalike suggestions to me.

Media Society of Authors Edward Cecil